Love.

I need love in my life. I want the feeling, of being in love, back. Someone close to me, both mentally and physically. A girl who can give me what I need, and who's at the same state in life that I am. A girl who can be my girlfriend some day. Not after a week, but hopefully after a few months, but she just have to be ready to have a serious relationship. One who wants to take it slow, and doesn't have to rush. But still wants a girlfriend, not just a date. I guess I'm gonna have to look for a while to find that girl, but I don't wanna rush it, and until I find that girl, I just wanna have fun. Party on at Lambda. I love the thought that I can go kiss whoever I'd want to, without having to be in love. Just relax and have fun. The problem is, that I'm not that kinda girl. I actually really want to be able to be that girl. But I guess I don't have the confidence, or the guts to do it. 

I've got my eyes on this girl, who often sits in the same bus as I do, and my 'gay-dar' tells me she might be homo- or, at least, bisexual. And every time I see her, I really want to go and talk to her, but I just don't have the guts to do it. Katja tries to push me to do it, but what the fuck am I supposed to say to her?

"Hey there hottie, did it hurt to get that stretch?" or what about "Hey, do you like girls?" or "Hey there! I've seen you a lot in this bus, where do you live?" How can I possibly say anything to her, when I don't know the first thing about talking to strangers on my own age, and without looking like an complete idiot. Fml.

Spejlrefleks!

Jeg har fået et spejlrefleks, så nu kan jeg endelig tage nogle ordentlige billeder! Fuck hvor jeg dog elsker det!!!

De første par billeder jeg har taget med det:

Og jeg magtede altså ikke lige at redigere i nogen af dem (;

Don't know what to call this.

So, yesterday, when i walked home from the bus, I thought of a lot of different stuff. As usual. I thought about if I died. Now, don't get me wrong, I really don't wanna die. But, I thought about if I died in a memorable way. Like a carcrash, or a really crazy way. But... I think about how poeple will react on my death. Who will cry? Who will be at my funeral? What will my closest friends and family say at my funeral? What songs will be played? All that stuff... I know... I'm crazy sometimes.

NotTheOneIUsedToBe.

As the title says... I'm not the one I used to be. I've changed alot. And the last couple of days has been kind of weird for me. I can't really figure out who I am, and if the person I am right now, is the person I'm most comfortale with, or the person I want to be. Because... Right now I don't know what I want to be like. In one way, I love who I am right now, and in another way, I don't think it's really me. I don't know, and for now, I don't really care either. I'm having fun and I'm not getting hurt yet, neither have I hurt anyone else. So I guess that's great.

Glee

FØRST: HVIS FOLK IKKE HAR SET GLEE FÆRDIGT TIL SÆSON 3 AFSNIT 14, SKAL MAN IKKE LÆSE DETTE INDLÆG.






Men... DET JO QUIN!!!! Men... Hun skal jo på yale!!! Og være cheerleader igen... Og var faktisk lige blevet helt glad for hende!! Ö

Feelings..

Hvor jeg dog fortryder det hele lige nu. Jeg tænker på alle de planer og aftaler vi havde... Som at vi havde planlagt at ligge ude i hængekøjen og lave bål og bare hygge. Eller at hun skulle hjem til mine forældre...
Jeg havde hele tiden sagt at jeg havde det fint med at det ikke var seriøst og at vi bare tog en dag ad gange, og at det ville være mig der stoppede det hvis jeg fandt ud af at jeg ikke kunne det mere. Sådan fik jeg det i løbet af den her uge. Men efter jeg sagde det til hende og vi aftalte at vi kun var venner. Fortryder jeg lidt at jeg gjorde det. Selvom det langsigtet er rigtig nok. Jeg er elendig til langdistance, og jeg gjorde det nok i bund og grund i frygt for at blive såret når mine følelser var blevet stærkere. Jeg har hele tiden lyst til at flirte med hende, for jeg føler godt at jeg kan. Og jeg føler mig så pissehamrende egoistisk når jeg siger at jeg bare gerne vil glemme alt det jeg sagde, og bare gå tilbage til det vi havde. Jeg sårede hende, og jeg sårede mig selv. Lige præcis det jeg var allermest bange for der ville ske, da jeg begyndte at falde for hende. Jeg har lyst til at tage uanmeldt op til hende. For rigtig mange ting. For det første, for at se hendes rektion. For det andet, for at holde om hende igen, og kysse hende. Og for det tredje, for at få hende til at se mig i øjnene og fortælle mig hvad hun føler når hun er hos mig med sine hænder i mine.

- Jeg føler alt og intet på samme tid lige nu.

HVORFOR SKAL JEG VÆRE SÅ FUCKING BANGE!? Hvorfor kan jeg ikke bare være ligeglad med hvad fremtiden bringer!? For helvede!